Monday, 19 January 2015

Rant Day #2 - The Kids In The Classroom


Don't kill me! Don't send those human eating marshmallows I am so sorry so I am uploading twice as much this week took me forever to rewrite this cause I lost my mojo.

Alright when I was my parent evening and omg the ICT teacher...My face for all the teachers were 0_0 like idgaf or idc but then me and my mum sat down and he started laughing and was like "This is her...hahaha what's with that face?" 

I'm like...what? My mum is like this dude okay. 

He just smiled and laughed saying 'he knows me' it is my 'dismissing' face. 

Anywhooooo he ended up slipping and falling down the stairs...He wasn't hurt but it was funny! I will tell you the story later now on with my rant.

Enjoy!

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The Book:

Now this chick. This chick over here, thinks she is so smart and so prestige's and higher than us. Let us call her Naomi! Yes so Naomi over here thinks she is all high and mighty, remember Hermione from Harry Potter?  Yeah Naomi is ten times worse. 



Now yes, you can put your hand up in class and yes answer questions be my guest no one is stopping you besides you are saving my ass, cause the teacher is giving all you the attention and doesn't notice me and Hannah over there munching on popcorn while watching vines. 

But when you are feeling dumb and want to do a 180* turn and say "yes lemme give it a shot. I am going to try in this lesson." She notices you and shoots her hand up and instead of the teacher picking the 'anti-social' one with 'no bright ideas' what so ever, she goes and picks Naomi over there.

And not only does Naomi answer the question she also has to link it to a documentary and her daily life then she tries to spit out some funny story which is NOT funny AT ALL. The silence as she laughs insanely to herself is so awkward you can hear the crickets outside!

And the crickets are thinking...damn I am out! This is too boring even for us! 

One hour later once Naomi is done with her auto-biography the teacher beams and gives her  house points. Then turns to you saying "Oh did you want to say anything?" If you felt dumb before you feel literally stupid now. 

Cause all I planned to say were a few words and Naomi over there went and said the whole friggin dictionary. 

So we had our exams and I was trying to explain the cycle to my dear friend Hannah and every two seconds Naomi was coming to interrupt and correct me! Yes people you heard! Correct me! I was so close to strangling her! Literally she carried on doing this for the next hour. 

So I had enough I stood up and walked past her giving her a smackerdoodle around her head that shut her up. 

She looked dazed for a moment and she turned around to look who did it but I was already sitting in my chair explaining the Nitrogen cycle to my friend. 

Don't be a Naomi otherwise you will be receiving a few more smackerdoodles from me! 

Preach!

(*_*)
\I I/
J L


The Charity Box: 

Everyone has the charity box wannabe in their school or class and she drives people mad. She flicks her hair, bats her eyelashes and applies lip gloss and clear mascara at break and lunch and fluffs up her hair pouting in the mirror. 

You see she is hot she knows she is hot. 

Now what I hate about her is the fact that she is always fishing for compliments she acts all innocent and sweet but collects the words like a fish. 

She looks around all big eyed and innocent then starts off by complimenting you. 

"Hey Chanel your eyelashes are really long and thick they are just amazing!"

"Err....Thanks?"

*sigh* "I wish mine were that were long. My eyelashes are so short...in fact my eyes are so tiny! So is my nose and..." That is how she gushes on and on about her imperfections.

Everyone around you is cooing saying she is perfect and she is beautiful and throwing compliments and she blushing like crazy grinning from ear to ear. 

We all have our moments of low self-esteem and you need someone to pick you up and say you are beautiful. It is normal, it is the cycle of a girl, sometimes you wish you were someone else everyone is like that at times. 

She does this every single time. 

Since then every time I saw her she would bring up a conversation and she would end up with a box full of compliments by the end of the day. 

When we started ignoring her she just went depressed, literally, depressed Lana Del Ray was probably sitting next to her singing Born To Die. 

It was crazy she would sigh pick at her pen her food, and me being me the whole class would look at me expecting me to say something. 
I am always the one they throw under the bus which is the reason I get in trouble all the time.

I tried to ignore but once you caught her gaze there was no going back it was like this: 

*Sigh, sniff, cough, sigh, sigh, weep, sob. cough*

*She won't stop looking...What do I do?*

I would end up coughing awkwardly and asking whats wrong and she would perk up and start talking and instead of hearing my fish died or I'm failing french she would expect me to gush on how she was prettier than Ariana Grande or Beyonce. 

This played out twice a day until one I day I completely blanked then screamed in her face. " I can assure you concealer can fix those spots and mascara can volumise your eyelashes and if you don't like small lips then get botox like freaking Kim Kardashian.I am not in the mood to tell you how pretty you are cause frankly I would be lying!"

I then felt guilty and laughed saying I was joking even though I really wasn't since then Ms Charity Box has not left me alone. 

I had to block her number's and email and instagram to get her away from me she is always following me and I don't want to rant on her in public. So Charity Box if you are reading this. 

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!


Look I am sorry I am not your boyfriend I can't kiss you and tell you how pretty you are and I am not your mum! Selena Gomez is there to make you feel beautiful. 

PREACH!!!  

If you were wondering how this makes her charity box I just classified that she always ask for donations. 

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Sorry for late post enjoy! xxx

Well it is over so you probably enjoyed. Pishhhhhhhhhhhh you loved it!

MY BIRTHDAY IS IN 6 DAYS GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oops no personal details on the Internet! 




4 comments:

  1. human eating marshmallows lol XD
    Your posts are always so amusing ^_^
    Happy Birthday :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Book types are definitely irritating o.o
    And then you have people who look like The Book but they're actually just jabbering basic things which sounds like some sort of einstein stuff because of the confidence they deliver it with.

    ReplyDelete